If they can't have the same foods as the other children, then just bring their own safe foods. They will be okay with that. My daughter feels a little special sometimes because she ends up with food the other kids "wish" they had. That always makes me feel good about her having something different.
But when it comes to events and foods, there is always the testing, the questioning and most of all... patience. It takes alot of time and preparation to attend any event. Even walking out the door to run some errands takes planning.
I always take food with me in case my daughter, now almost nine, gets hungry. Which it does seem like she is hungry all of the time lately.
We can't take chances when we are out and about that we will be able to find "safe foods."
At times it can be a little tiring and you feel like you are overly cautious. But, when you are dealing with food allergies. You cannot be too cautious.
It is important to allow your child to be apart of special events so they don't feel isolated. I have found that with alot of communication and my own investigative work, you can attend parties safely.
But don't be afraid to be cautious. It could save your child's life.
Take one day at a time and know that you are not alone in your efforts. There are other parents out there doing the very same thing. There are many daily battles we face, but we can get through them.
Stay well and stay safe.